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Zho · Pridružen/-a: 07.11. 2006, 21:39 Prispevkov: 824

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks
from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife:
"Jen! , is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost! and need directions!"

Comp · Pridružen/-a: 10.11. 2006, 18:49 Prispevkov: 3245

NATAWE · Objavljeno: 04 Dec 2006 17:07 Naslov sporočila:

65x 65. Po želji.

Ej, sem se pa počutila kot pri sexsu ... mal bolj, mal manj, ja, zadaj je prav .... Pray

Ej, saj se samo hecam srecen

_________________

Ko bo posekano zadnje drevo, zastrupljena zadnja reka, ulovljena zadnja riba, takrat boste spoznali, da denarja ne morete jesti!

Bushi no ichigon!

Zho · Pridružen/-a: 07.11. 2006, 21:39 Prispevkov: 824

Najprej Natki hvala za support.

Seveda pa ne manjka niti današnji Georgov vic, tule je:

The Millionaire

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. And, as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover.

It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) the condor; B) the buzzard; C) the cuckoo; or D) the vulture?" The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. The woman hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, blonde. She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded hesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: The cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do.On the other hand - the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.

"I need an answer," said Regis.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Regis.
"Yes, that is my final answer."

Two minutes later, Regis said, "That answer is .... absolutely correct!! You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
"Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "How did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."

Čukica · Pridružen/-a: 04.11. 2006, 19:20 Prispevkov: 2810

Zho · Pridružen/-a: 07.11. 2006, 21:39 Prispevkov: 824

Ta Jure pa jih ima za ušesi, a je tudi likovna oprema njegova, a jih ti oplemenitiš?

Odg: Likovna oprema je izključno moja. George ima smisel za poezijo, glasbo Boo hoo!

in vino

, vizuelno komunikacijo, aranžma pa prepušča meni.

LP

Zho · Pridružen/-a: 07.11. 2006, 21:39 Prispevkov: 824

Blonde at a Football Game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

Čukica · Pridružen/-a: 04.11. 2006, 19:20 Prispevkov: 2810

Čukica · Pridružen/-a: 04.11. 2006, 19:20 Prispevkov: 2810

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If the doctor is cute, f*** the fruit.

Zho · Pridružen/-a: 07.11. 2006, 21:39 Prispevkov: 824

Čukica · Pridružen/-a: 04.11. 2006, 19:20 Prispevkov: 2810

[quote="Zho"]

Draga moja, si res prepričana, da taka tvoja terapija krepi vajino skupnost?
Še vedno je bolje, da doma gleda TV in pijucka pivce, kot da se neznano kje zabava brez tebe ...
Eh?

LP (in thx za pohvalo!)

Ni za kaj. Podcenjuješ me, obstajajo še drugi čarovniški "zvarki", kako to preprečiti Angel

LP

Zauzet muški WC i Crnogorac uđe u ženski. Naiđe žena i vikne:
"Iju"
A Crnogorac će:
"Ne boj se, jado, držim ga."

cobra · Pridružen/-a: 06.11. 2006, 20:59 Prispevkov: 2608

_________________

Credo ut intelligam, non intelligo ut credam.
Odi profanum vulgus et arceo.
Facta non verba.

marmije · Pridružen/-a: 07.11. 2006, 18:21 Prispevkov: 7222

[quote="Čukica"]

cobra · Pridružen/-a: 06.11. 2006, 20:59 Prispevkov: 2608

Svađaju se mujo i fata oko novca, i kaže fata:
mujo, zašto toliko novaca trošiš u krčmi?
a mujo:a zašto ti toliko trošiš na kozmetiku?
fata:pa zato da izgledam ljepše za tebe...
a mujo če:
pa i ja pijem da ti ljepše izgledaš za mene.....
_________________

Credo ut intelligam, non intelligo ut credam.
Odi profanum vulgus et arceo.
Facta non verba.

Zho · Pridružen/-a: 07.11. 2006, 21:39 Prispevkov: 824

Lepo, da se oglasi še kdo s šalo. Ob šali ni nobene potrebe, da bi se prepirali - lahko se le nasmejimo ali pa samo skomignemo z rameni in gremo naprej ...

Tale pa je "Juretova" od danes (se nekoliko navezuje ne Čukinega crnogorca):

A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man.
"No way & no needles. I hate needles!" the patient said.
Then the dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects.
"I can't do the gas thing - the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!"
The dentist then asks if! the man has any objection to taking a pill.
"No,"- the patient says, -"I am fine with pills".
The dentist then returns and says, "Here is a Viagara tablet."
The patient says, "Wow - I didn't know Viagara worked as a pain pill!"
"It doesn't,"- said the dentist -"but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth

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